To My Grown-up Son
My hands were busy through the day,
I didn't have much time to play
the little games you asked me to,
I didn't have much time for you.
I'd wash your clothes, I'd sew and cook,
But when you'd bring your picture book
And ask me, please, to share your fun,
I'd say, "A little later, son."
I'd tuck you in all safe at night,
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door,
I wish I'd stayed a minute more.
For life is short, and years rush past,
A little boy grows up so fast,
No longer is he at your side,
His previous secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away,
There are no children's games to play,
No good-night kiss, no prayers to hear,
That all belongs to yesteryear.
My hands once busy, now lie still,
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I might go back and do,
The little things you asked me to.
Doctor, list some things you and your family do for fun. When was the last time you did any of these things?
If you think some alterations in your lifestyle are appropriate, think through all your needs, priorities -- emotional, spiritual, financial, intellectual, health. Write down your greatest strengths, your successes in the past, your future objectives. Only you can find the right balance between what you are capable of doing and what you should be doing to meet all your priorities. The world's most contented people are those who have found that balance. Each time you take inventory on how well your balance is working, be ready to alter your lifestyle to keep the balance where you want it.
Part of the workshop we conduct on time management deals with goal-setting. If you are like most doctors, you have never stopped to take stock of what you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have.
Knowing what you really want to do helps motivate you to do it and gives meaning to the way you spend your time. You'll be able to balance the many aspects of your life and reduce unnecessary conflict over how you use your time.
In one way or the other, you have been thinking about your lifetime goals almost as long as you have been alive. But thinking about them is different from writing them down. Unwritten goals are vague, like dreams. When you start writing your goals down, they get more concrete and specific and help you gain a better perspective. Once committed to paper, you can examine them more closely. They can be refined and changed if necessary.
In the time management workshop, we take time to write out three goals: Lifetime goals, goals for the next five years, and goals if you had only six months to live. Try writing these goals for yourself. For lifetime goals, write down anything you'd like to have, to do, or like to be during the rest of your lifetime. Consider personal, family, social, career, financial, community, and spiritual goals. Be more specific for your five-year goals, like buy a larger house, visit Europe, become president of a chiropractic association. The last goals might sound a little morbid, but it's not to prepare you for the next world. I am sure you have wondered, however, if a friend who departed this life suddenly might have done anything differently the last six months, had he or she known. The real purpose is to force yourself to decide if there are things that are very important to you that you are not doing or working on now, which deserve more of your attention in the next six months. If you have young children, ask an older parent whose children are now gone from home if he or she would have taken more time to be with them if those years could be relived. Put your family in your six months and five-year goals, too. Take that vacation with them even if it means borrowing the money or a few lost days in your practice. You can get back the money and patients, but the time is gone forever.
Readers are invited to write to me:
Brian Porteous, D.C.Please include your self-addressed, stamped envelope.
4940 Irvine Boulevard
Suite 106
Irvine, California 92720
Thank you.